G-Force
G-FORCE (2009)
Starring Zach Galifianakis, Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Kelli Garner, Tyler Patrick Jones, Piper Mackenzie Harris, Gabriel Casseus, Jack Conley, Niecy Nash, Justin Mentell, Loudon Wainwright III and the voices of Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Jon Favreau, Penélope Cruz, Steve Buscemi and Tracy Morgan.
Screenplay by The Wibberleys.
Directed by Hoyt Yeatman, Jr.
Distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. 90 minutes. Rated PG.
Superspy guinea pigs.
It doesn’t get much more high concept than that.
In fairness, it is not just guinea pigs – though with four of the little fellers, they definitely form the majority here. There is also a mole, a hamster/ferret hybrid, some mice, a fly and a cockroach.
Even more, star acting talent including Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Sam Rockwell, Jon Favreau, Tracy Morgan and Steve Buscemi voice these teeny-tiny fighting heroes.
Welcome to the brave new espionage world of über-producer Jerry Bruckheimer.
If you ever wondered what a Disney version of a Michael Bay movie would look like, this is probably as good of an estimation as you will get anytime soon.
If you ever wondered why someone would even consider such an idea, it’s all about the Benjamins.
The G-Force is locked and loaded to get your kids’ money – and by extension yours, because let’s face it, the children are not going to actually pay when they beg for a G-Force cuddly toy.
Okay, in fairness, G-Force is not the first film to be created with a specific eye towards marketing. This can even be understandable – everyone wants money – as long as the creators of the film take the time to actually create a reasonable story to sell the plush toys and little mini guinea pig artillery.
No great surprise, this is where G-Force – like so many movies created with the eye on the almighty dollar – comes up way short.
However, if you found Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to be a little bit too complex, mature and intellectual for your taste, then G-Force may just be your movie.
The story – what little of a story there is – goes like this: Brilliant scientist creates a super spy force made up of talking small animals and bugs. He sends them to infiltrate the evil lair of the world’s largest appliance manufacturer, whom he suspects has something more sinister on his agenda than a self-cleaning cappuccino machine. The government breaks up the compact commandos, most of whom end up trapped in a pet store owned by Niecy Nash, that really annoying commentator on that totally sleazy infotainment puff series The Insider.
The three guinea pigs decide to break out – partially to save the world and partially just to get away before Niecy starts rambling on and on about John and Kate, Tiger Woods, Carrie Prejean, Balloon Boy, The Cat Woman and Michael Jackson. Once free, they return to their scientist bosses, eventually stumble upon a nefarious plot to take over the world by creating a race of homicidal small appliances.
Of course, while watching all the silliness, the audience can’t help but wonder one thing: Who would squander talent by hiring such funny actors as Zach Galifianakis, Will Arnett and Bill Nighy and make them all dull straight men to talking rodents and killer espresso machines?
Well, apparently the answer to that is Jerry Bruckheimer.
Then again, there is a more important question that is brought to mind by G-Force. Why would any sane adult ever bother to sit through it unless they were absolutely forced to by small children?
For that question, I can not think of a single possible answer.
Dave Strohler
Copyright ©2009 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: December 15, 2009.
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